Quit being nice, start saying no, and use self-talk to lift ourselves (and those around us) up successfully – listen in as Jess Dewell talks with special guest Mary Fran Bontempo.
We need to take responsibility for our own self-talk, as it influences us and those around us. Whether using excuses, rationalizations, or even problem after problem … our self-talk affects us. Self-talk directly impacts our success because it shapes our perspective of what’s happening and what we can do about specific situations. Listen in as Jess Dewell talks with special guest Mary Fran Bontempo – learn how to quit being nice, start saying no, and use self-talk to lift ourselves (and those around us) up successfully.
Starting The Conversation:
- What are the most common self talk challenges in relationships to setting goals (and then actually achieving it).
- When does chasing happiness, mindfulness, perfection start to hurt and how do we avoid (or change it if we’re overwhelmed)?
- What does responsibility mean to you, and Where does it fit into our self talk?
Host: Jessica Dewell
Guest: Mary Fran Bontempo
What You Will Hear:
We tend to be married to our expectations.
Common challenges we face we might not recognize at first come from our reactions.
Paradox of doing what must be done and don’t rock the boat.
We’re born to respond to change (and the words to remove from our vocabulary).
Feelings are a way to inform, even logically based, so tune in.
Three levels of awareness to our reactions.
Instant gratification does not apply to our imprinted reactions.
Have someone write introductions about us so we can see what’s so cool about ourselves.
Every person’s skills add to the outcome (like a table full of different deserts).
No! No has been diluted.
Three things to say NO to every time.
Things can be FINE. Let go of superlatives. Move on.
When something is not your responsibility.
What help really is and when it turns into imposition.
Chasing an ideal – our goal – and we’re still criticizing.
Adventure is a dirty word.
Why it’s bold to be aware of our self talk.
Notable and Quotable:
Mary Fran Bontempo: Start your plan, work your plan, and be ready for what comes along (how often do our plans work out to the letter?).
Mary Fran Bontempo: The paths we are led to are the places we are supposed to go.
Mary Fran Bontempo: The things we do because of who we’ve been, and we react on the basis of that.
Mary Fran Bontempo: The fact we have conscious thought is a blessing and a curse.
Jess Dewell: Change is a way to adapt quickly, yet it also takes time to change what we react to.
Mary Fran Bontempo: There are ways to make conscious choice.
Mary Fran Bontempo: You have the personal skills to get to where you are right now. They are what you need to get you to the next level.
Mary Fran Bontempo: We can all enhance each other’s journey.
Jess Dewell: Not saying no dilutes us.
Mary Fran Bontempo: Lean out of the things that are out of your control, not your problem, and you stink at it and say no to those.
Mary Fran Bontempo: If it gets the job done and it is fine, move on and let the rest go. Everything does not have to be awesome.
Mary Fran Bontempo: Don’t be blinded that a goal is the pinnacle because you miss everything along the path.
Mary Fran Bontempo: If you fail to reach a goal, maybe you are supposed to go down a different path.
Mary Fran Bontempo: An adventure doesn’t have to be dramatic, they may be small and surround us every single day.
- The Woman’s Book of Dirty Words
- Not Ready for Granny Panties-The 11 Commandments for Avoiding Granny Panties,
- 12 Truths I learned from Life and Writing, Anne Lamott TED Talk
Tags: mindset, success, self talk, truth, reactions, culture, communication, patterns, skills, journey, goal, metrics, data, feeling
We have a responsibility for our own self talk as it influences us and those around us. Whether its excuses, rationalizations, or even problem after problem…our self talk effects us. Self talk directly impacts our success because it shapes our perspective of what’s happening and what we can do about it. Listen in and learn how to Quit being nice, start saying no and use self talk to lift us (and those around us) up successfully. Jess Dewell talks with special guest Mary Fran Bontempo.