Starting the conversation…
What’s your biggest miss, and how did you resolve it?
What You Will Hear:
Pay attention to who you are speaking to.
Know who you are referring.
Build your confidence every single day.
The interplay of internal and external in each situation.
Negative feedback and our own ego.
Be open to the energy and intention around the situation.
Keep your curiosity alive.
Develop ourselves – what we can do to add to our skills.
Anticipate what our customers need.
It is BOLD to recognize and integrate our big misses.
Notable and Quotable:
Dr. Ruby Lathon 3:27
The issue was that I quoted way too low. And I knew that my prices were probably lower than they should be. And this was a little earlier on where I really wasn’t confident about charging what my services are worth. So I know a lot of women do that. In business, we want to give away a lot. We’re just used to being givers. And we’re not sometimes as ready to say, this is the price, this is what it’s worth. And that’s it. I had to learn that lesson. And I was like, this is the last time I’m undervaluing my work, and my worth.
Dr. Ruby Lathon 5:20
At the end of the day, we’re business people, and we have to make a living, and we should price accordingly.
Dr. Ruby Lathon 5:29
You can always accommodate another group who maybe cannot afford this price. But you need to say, this is what it is. And then if they need to work with that, then we can see what we can do. That way they know. this is the value of what I’m giving. And even if I charge you less, you know that I have made an accommodation. But this is my price.
Kristi Sullivan 10:18
I just think we all have a gut instinct that we need to follow.
Dr. Ruby Lathon 13:58
For me, I think that for confidence, meditation helps actually. Because it helps me get centered and focused for the day. And it just gives me that sense of calm and powerful illness and all of that, that I need to get going. Whenever I just get going and not haven’t had that time, like just jump out of bed, and in a rush — doesn’t go so well. But when I have that time to relax, and get centered, and realize I have the power of the universe, and good energy behind me. then I feel a lot more confident. I’m not alone in this. And then I can walk into any room and feel good about it.
Kristi Sullivan 15:41
Hearing accolades, that helps me with my confidence., but that’s not really very genuine. You should start it from a place more in value than I do. So definitely an area of improvement.
Jess Dewell 16:06
External validation has become almost a lot like sugar, something that you crave in the afternoon, if you haven’t eaten a balanced enough lunch, if you will,
Dr. Ruby Lathon 17:05
I used to rely mostly on the external, definitely. But then when it’s not there, you are constantly chasing more of it. But I think we all need that positive feedback continuously in our lives. I think it’s a balance too, of getting both. And if that’s what charges you up, and that’s great.
Kristi Sullivan 17:58
If I get negative feedback, I think it affects me way more than it should. That’s because I’m not starting in a good place.
Dr. Ruby Lathon 18:41
What helped me was starting with guided meditations, where someone is talking you through it. Twenty minutes is about the sweet spot for 15 to 20. And then just doing a guided meditation. So you just get used to breathing and relaxing, and then you can move on to just having some ambient noise in the background, that kind of thing. And knowing that you don’t have to focus on having a blank slate, because that’s not possible. You just focus on something like the air condition motor, or breathing. And that is just to stop thinking about a bunch of stuff. and focus on that one little non serious thing like a noise that helps you bring the calming. The rest of the benefit just comes from there.
Jess Dewell 20:31
If something is automatically crazy, off the wall, left field, whack in the head with a two by four, falling down and spreading your ankle, I can actually breathe for like seven breaths, and I can find what I get in 20 minutes of meditation every day.
Dr. Ruby Lathon 22:34
And you can take a five minute break. It’s like a meditation if you want and just stop. Stop the energy that’s going in the wrong direction and refocus it.
Kristi Sullivan 28:45
It’s just a more a matter of realizing that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to make mistakes in front of a client sometimes. Own it. Move on.
Dr. Ruby Lathon 32:02
I’ve learned to relax and know that your energy about what you’re doing matters really most that sets the tone for everything.
Dr. Ruby Lathon 36:05
When you love what you do, uou naturally want to be better at it. And then it’s a joy to research things and just know.
Jess Dewell 39:28
We always find information that support what we believe anyway. And so it takes a lot of effort to go out of our way and something that doesn’t go with it, to either one reinforce or two question what we’ve been questioning, so we actually do know what we’re talking about.
Dr. Ruby Lathon 44:25
Failure or misses, or whatever you want to call it, it’s as part of success really. And if you tried something it didn’t work and you try again, and you learn from it. It’s only a true failure if you just brush it on the rug and repeat it again. And again.
Kristi Sullivan 46:33
As any kind of advice givers . I think it really helps bring you closer to your clients if you admit your fails. It’s so much better than taking advice from someone who’s never made a mistake. I mean, who even wants to talk to that person.
price, helps, breathing, guided meditation, meditation, mistakes, refocus, learn, talking, undervaluing, givers, external validation, energy, accolades, focus, relax, confidence, awareness, worth, process, systems, curiosity, communication
What’s your biggest miss, and how did you resolve it?
Everyone messes up. The reasons we experience failures and mistakes include our thoughtfulness before acting (or not), and even our capabilities do what we say we are going to. Learning from each other, Jess Dewell hosts Kristi Sullivan and Dr. Ruby Lathon to discuss resolving our biggest misses.