As business leaders, we must take the time to question assumptions, look at whatnot longer works, and how our values are expressed as we advance in our careers … and in life to choose when to break our own rules.

It’s about the intention we hold as we show up. Its about our self awareness and willingness to listen to our internal sensor as a way to gather data in addition to what we can research and observe. When we hide who we are, we’re never giving our best work. We are not stepping into our integrity. This conversation Jess Dewell and Scott Scowcroft have with Alan Cohen will help you…right now and going forward to find the courage to break our own rules.

Program 85 - Courage to Break Our Own RulesStarting the Conversation:

  • A formula only works when it is made up of the right things.
  • How being ourselves effect business culture (what we say/do), results (achievement even if not on the roadmap), and relationships (how we support our teams individual growth)

Host: Jess Dewell

Co-host: Scott Scowcroft

Guest: Alan Cohen

What You Will Hear:

The concept of ‘game face’ and leave our emotions at home.

It is more fulfilling to relate to a real person and not an image of a person.

Use love, and authenticity and reliability, as a leader.

The first thing to face fear is to ask: what would I do provided there was no fear?

Alan Cohen’s model for trust.

The role of mindfulness and choice and right mind.

A story of Mother Theresa walking into war.

Pinpoint the friction and place focused attention on that part of our business.

When we have a discipline to practice something … yet things don’t go well.

The ‘proof is in the pudding’ and ‘by their fruits ye shall know them.’

How we rationalize and put things outside of us – who we believe is responsible.

Polarity forces a stance of what we believe.

The choice to stay clear in the face seduction around us.

The effort we put into relationship. The test we face when we decide to change. Extinction burst.

Importance of mentors and criteria to choose them.

Difficult situations are always difficult, yet can be kind and honest.

The end of situations is as important at the beginning.

Bonus: the discipline of think time and self reflection.

Notable and Quotable:

Alan Cohen: I set up the space, and everyone plays their instrument. Everyone wants to connect.

Jess Dewell: It’s time to change, the resistance is higher and step toward what’s next.

Scott Scowcroft: We may challenge to uncover more.

Jess Dewell: It became clear I couldn’t look just at my business, I had to look at me to.

Alan Cohen: Image management leaves our soul cold and hungry because we can’t be ourself.

Alan Cohen: We are relatable when we take the time to know [a job] from the inside out.

Alan Cohen: Every choice is a choice between love and fear.

Jess Dewell: We thrive in a space of love and trust.

Alan Cohen: Step into your right mind when everyone else is in their wrong mind to deal with the situation and positively uplift everyone.

Scott Scowcroft: It’s interesting that the brain is devoted to facial recognition.

Alan Cohen: Its the energy and intention behind the facial expression that show others who we are.

Alan Cohen: We all have the power to execute lofty ideas.

Alan Cohen: We know when something is off with our internal sensor.

Jess Dewell: Our external environment is a reflection of what’s happening within us.

Alan Cohen: As soon as I clean up my own act, somehow I find the wherewithal to deal with the other person.

Alan Cohen: Address the source of the problem.

Alan Cohen: Truth and success principles have been around since the beginning of time, and the question is whose antennae are up to tap into them.

Jess Dewell: There is usually good in every form of thinking even when it’s not in line with our own.

Alan Cohen: When we move away from our center we lose our power to be effective.

Alan Cohen: When ever we step forward to claim our big new YES, all our old no’s come back to greet me.


  • Dare to Be Yourself, by Alan Cohen
  • James Allen: We think in secret and it comes to pass. Environment is our looking glass.
  • Princess Mononoke
  • Longfellow: Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.

Tags: relationship, connection, connect, authentic, relatable, openness, creativity, ShoutyShouty, trust, grounding, self awareness, practice, skills, compelling, respect, intention, agreement, integrity, change, support